So we had a visiting black belt come through from Fight Sports down in Daytona yesterday.  It was a great training session, and I learned a lot.  He brought some regular, run-of-the-mill guys with him to participate.  I snapped a picture:

We heard it was no gi day. Who wants to roll?

Yeah.  Nothing like showing up to BJJ practice with your normal dickbag level of fitness and find a trailer full of savages salivating at you as you slip into your gi. If I had to sum up what it felt like, I’d offer the following:

C’mon guys. You said LIGHT rolling!

Look, there’s nothing wrong with being a stud.  If you want to do silly shit like cardio, training, practice, eating right, and getting proper rest, you too can be a BJJ savage.  If, like me, you prefer hookers and blow, long walks through the food court, and staying up all night watching soft porn on Skinemax, you probably aren’t going to make much progress, but I digress.

Contortion_backbend (1)
Execute a back bend. Finish the choke.

We learned the loop choke, and several variations.  I did almost all of them correctly, except for the one where the black belt is all like “All you need to do is dislocate your spleen, do a Cirque du Soleil backflip roll, and finish him by inserting your leg around the back side of his body at an impossible twat-waffle angle.” But hey, practice makes perfect.  Or some shit about perfect practice…who the fuck knows what that crap means.

I should mention that this is, by no means, my first encounter with loop chokes.  If you’d like a run down on my previous experience, I offer you the following article:

A Fishy Metaphor and Other Nonsense