I sometimes like to slip into my prognosticator’s hat and take a stab at predictive statistical analysis, so I’ve crunched the numbers based upon all of my previous BJJ experience to produce a pie chart of probabilities of what might happen at practice tonight. I think you’ll find it to be quite accurate.
I’ve been sitting here thinking. I started Jiu Jitsu sometime shortly after the titanic sank and I’ve been at it a while now. I’ve strung together some injuries, some spells of not training, and some stubborn refusal to try things, and the result is that I’m the world’s most seasoned white belt. Here are a few things which have taken less time than me progressing to blue belt:
- The gestation period of the female black rhino, which typically lasts from 15-17 months.
- The slow march to American socialism, which has really picked up steam in the last 2-3 years. Yeah, I’ve been a white belt longer than that.
- The Civil War. Not even kidding.
- The building of the Burj Khalifa.
- Tim Tebow’s career.
- The slow degradation of Miley Cyrus’s self respect.
- The entire presidency of William Henry Harrison.
- Floyd Mayweather’s reading of the Cat in the Hat.
But I digress. Who really needs a belt anyway when you’re having so much doggone fun?