We had a regular Jiu Jitsu rainbow in class today, which is what I call it when we have someone in class representing every rank in the belt progression from white to black. It’s a beautiful sight to see. It’s almost like a real rainbow, you know, if real rainbows could break your arm off and beat you with it. Imagine skipping carelessly beneath a beautiful rainbow in a meadow and then having the rainbow crush you with suffocating weight until you can’t freaking breathe. Yeah, it’s like that.
In other news, I learned a side control escape that involves digging your elbow violently into the neck of your opponent and I thought to myself, “Self, isn’t there a more personable way of escaping side control?” It might go like this:
“Pardon me, dear sir, but your top pressure is practically suffocating. Might I bother you to raise up slightly so that I can abscond from this perilous situation?”
“Well, you seem like a decent chap. I’ll tell you what…wiggle a little to the left and then thrust your wobbly bits and, Bob’s your uncle. We’ll pretend like you earned it.”
“You’re a scholar and a gentleman. Cheers.”
“Right-O. Ready, set, go.”
If only the world were a little more civilized…..