So, I own three gis by Fuji.  Why?  Because so far Fuji makes the only A6 gi that I can successfully wrap around my distended ass.  I’ve got a plain white, plain black, and plain blue one.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have the newest fucking super ferret or wombat gi or whatever the hell the kids are wearing these days, but they won’t fit.  Given that fact, I thought I might offer a quick review of their products.

1) Does the gi fit properly? If it’s been a salad day, yes.  If it’s been a burger and fries day, depends upon the burger vendor.  Also, the sleeves cover half of my hand, which is sort of a disadvantage.  I think they should segment the A6 size into two categories: A6F (for fat) and A6T (for tall). That’s just my two cents.

2) Is the gi durable?  Well, I haven’t ripped it yet, so….

3) Is the gi stylish?  It’s about as stylish as a pair of really sturdy pajamas.  It looks fine on the mats, not so much at the gas station.  About par for the course in the way of gis. Plus, I’m fat.  The gi could have fucking golden-threaded embroidered angel wings and I would still look ridiculous wearing it.  Facts of life.

4) Would you buy another one? As soon as the laundry backs up, I presumably will buy another one.  What fucking choice do I have?  It’s either that or show up to gi class in a nogi ensemble and try to play it off all like “uh, I ordered a gi but it hasn’t come in yet.”  I’m fat, not retarded.  Everybody knows you’re just avoiding getting gi choked for as long as possible with your sloppy ass wrestling bullshit.  You don’t have to lie to be my friend.

5) Does the gi smell good?  My gi smells wonderful, like the powdered nutsack of an angel straight from heaven.  You know why?  Because I wash it, you nasty motherfuckers.  You know who you are.  Wash your shit or I will cover you in gasoline and set you ablaze.  That’s why I  have three gis.  So I can wear one, wash one, and still have an extra in case something goes wrong with that equation.

So, that’s it.  I tacitly approve of Fuji gis for fat bastards.  They run about $100 bucks, which is great for me.  I don’t need a $299 gi for my $50 Jiu Jitsu.  If any other gi manufacturer would like to sponsor me a gi to test drive, I’ll be happy to put it through the paces.  If not, go fuck yourself.  That is all.

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