An Oompa, also known as the saber tooth tiger mating thrust, is one of these crazy Jiu Jitsu moves that we do when we find ourselves in a situation where we don’t exactly know what to do.  Along with the “shrimp,” which is an entirely different post of it’s own, it constitutes approximately 75% of the white belt’s repertoire.   It looks like this:


Except with another dude on top of you.  No homo.

Now, I have put some thought into this word and I have a couple of questions.  Is it spelled Oompa, or Umpa, or some other variation?  Is it a noun or a verb?  “I just did an Oompa,” or “I just got done Oompa-ing?” What would the plural form be?  If the plural of goose is geese, would the plural of Oompa be Eempa?  I’m so confused.

In other news, I accidentally listened to 9 hours of Lil Wayne on Spotify at work yesterday, so now I feel the need to append the phrase “No homo” to nearly everything Jiu Jitsu related.  So, get out there are roll on the mats with some dudes, no homo.