My first clue that all might not be as it seems at the COPA Submission Grappling Tournament in Jonesboro, GA was when the guy who won the children’s division was in the bathroom shaving his chest prior to the competition.  Then there was the supposed “novice” who I saw sifting through seven different colored belts in his trunk before finally settling upon a white belt with two stripes.  Riiiiiiiiiiight.  If you’re a white belt I’m Rickson Gracie.

But, I digress.  All in all, it was a great tournament.  I didn’t compete, but I felt as if I could have.  Five minute rounds are fat guy friendly, and all douche bagging…oops, did I say douche bagging….I meant sandbagging…..aside, I could have made a decent showing.  However, I do have short list of things to work into my game before I finally compete in May:

  • Cardio
  • Sweeps
  • Guard Passes
  • Take downs
  • Closed guard
  • Butterfly guard
  • Submissions
  • Transitions
  • A convincing victory dance
  • Finding fat guy grappling shorts….

Yeah, other than those few things I’m ready to go.  Also, one sure sign that you are too tired to drive is when you dump an entire bag of sunflower seeds directly into the gear shifter area of your automobile, and then lose half of them into the transmission case, then hit your head trying to get out of the car, then curse loudly, then hit your head trying to get back into the car, then try to put the seeds back in the bag but miss half of them.