So, I have a new goal in life. I bought a rash guard by Contract Killer that is quite possibly the dopest thing ever created in this universe. Of course, they max out at 2XL, but I ordered it anyway. When it arrived, I squeezed myself carefully into it.
Bottom line, I looked like somebody shoved a cupcake into a condom.
Not that I have a problem with injection-molding myself into an outfit, and it might even be beneficial from a motivational standpoint (you know, to make me want to go that extra round and lose that muffin top), but I would quite literally scare off new customers at the gym.
“You work out how many times a week? And you look like that? C’mon Fred, we’re leaving.”
So, my new goal in life is to lose enough weight to sport my Contract Killer rash guard without feeling like a fat kid rolled up in Saran Wrap. I shall henceforth launch myself into accomplishing said goal.