contract-killer-long-sleeve-rash-guardSo, I have a new goal in life.  I bought a rash guard by Contract Killer that is quite possibly the dopest thing ever created in this universe.  Of course, they max out at 2XL, but I ordered it anyway.  When it arrived, I squeezed myself carefully into it.

Bottom line, I looked like somebody shoved a cupcake into a condom.

Not that I have a problem with injection-molding myself into an outfit, and it might even be beneficial from a motivational standpoint (you know, to make me want to go that extra round and lose that muffin top), but I would quite literally scare off new customers at the gym.

“You work out how many times a week?  And you look like that?  C’mon Fred, we’re leaving.”

So, my new goal in life is to lose enough weight to sport my Contract Killer rash guard without feeling like a fat kid rolled up in Saran Wrap.  I shall henceforth launch myself into accomplishing said goal.

 

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