So, I…uhm…“modulated” my participation in the Jiu Jitsu class in order to make it to the end without risking death. Turns out, it’s pretty friggin fun. Who knew?
That’s not to say that it wasn’t still embarassing. There was this little chick who squeezed me neck like a chiropractor on crack, and then I tried to buck her off, but her thighs were like the jaws of life. For realz. Turns out she’s a professional fighter and I just got pwned WoW style on the mat. She might be all of 5’5″ tall. Lessons such as these are valuable.
Also, and this is crucial, sometimes being fat doesn’t suck as much. For instance, in Jiu Jitsu, much of the game is moving around your opponent. If your opponent happens to be a fucking gigantic hippopotamus, so much the better for him. Woe is the guy who has to bench press the hippo to save his life, get it?
So, you will be hearing more Jiu Jitsu stories forthcoming. I also understand that there is a boxing/kickboxing class that will provide me with an entirely fresh avenue for self embarrassment so look forward to that also. In other news, my groin is now aching so badly that masturbation will be postponed until further notice. That is all.