Well, it’s been a full sixty days since I’ve done a damn thing fitness related. Well, not true. I watched Mr. Olympia on television, but I digress.
So I get the bright idea that I need to get back on the wagon, except working out sucks large camel nuts. So I decided that I would sign up for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Good idea. I used to grapple a little with the guys in the military, although it was more in the Hapkido style, and rolling is more fun than getting on the maniac machine (elliptical) any day of the week.
So, off I go to BJJ class. How was the Jiu Jitsu, you ask? I’ll tell you when I actually make it through the warm ups without vomiting and needing a cold shower. I knew I was in trouble when the little guy teaching the class was like “Let’s jump in the air, clap twice, and fall into a barrel roll with no hands all the way down the mat.”
Fuck you, skinny guy. Fuck you.
Now the question isn’t so much “should I do Jiu Jitsu” and it is “can I do Jiu Jitsu without dying.” Fitness is cool, but death does not become me. I had to take a nap when I got home from that junk for like, a week. Seriously. I had a hurt groin, aching back muscles, and an ankle/knee combo upon which I could barely walk. From the fucking warmups!
Somebody please hear me.