So I did legs. If you didn’t know, I have gremlins assigned to me personally whose job it is to attack me whilst I attempt to do a leg workout. One gremlin, I call him Shaky, tends to cause my left leg to shake like an epileptic any time I attempt to do seated quad extensions. Some dude saw me shaking as was all like, “man, are you ok?” I was all like “It’s just the gremlins” and kept walking. He steered well clear of me the remainder of the day.
Another gremlin, this one is called Poopy, has only one job: to make me have to take a dump the whole time I’m doing squats. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as I heft that weight up on my shoulders I feel like I’m going to blow an O ring. The only possible explanation is a gremlin poking me in the butt hole.
And, last but not least, my favorite gremlin….Grumpy. Grumpy’s job is to whisper in my ear the whole time I’m pumping massive life-changing iron and say crap like “It’s ok if you stop this set early. Nobody will know.” Or, “You don’t really need to do calves. You’ve done enough already.” Or, “This is stupid. You’re never going to look like these other people.”
Gremlins. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. On the OTHER front (I’m talking about my diet now) I have made some progress. I pre cooked a bunch of meat and green veggies so all I have to do is scoop it out and microwave it and chow down every three hours or so.
I hate being fat.