I’m freaking motivated for some weight loss goodness right now.  I’m so motivated that I high-fived that dude that constantly eats his boogers.  I just couldn’t contain myself.  I’m so motivated that I ran throughout the mall screaming “protein is my friend!”  Then some old lady in sneakers told me I was doing it wrong.  Mall walkers.

Anyhoo, I picked up a little book called The Smarter Science of Slim by a dude named Jonathan Bailor.  The basic premise of the book is that you can lose more weight faster by understanding the science behind your metabolism.  I came to find out that there is much empirical evidence to support the idea that eating less and working out more actually isn’t the best way to lose weight.  Instead, you need to work out better and eat smarter.  This is beginning to sound suspiciously like what Dennis Pettit told me.

Interestingly, the book suggested that the negative or “eccentric” weight training is more effective for fat burning because it engages some secret ninja muscles or some such shit.  For those, who like me, have no idea what the hell that means….apparently you’re supposed to lower the weight really slowly.  Who knew?  Also, I’m a fat ass because my metabolism is “clogged,” at some set-point….WTF.  The problem with books based upon empirical evidence is that they are so freaking….. empirical.  Nevertheless, interesting read. I don’t know about the part where you only work out once per week for ten minutes though….sounds too good to be true.  And, like the godfather Don Derry once said, (with lip extensions) “If it don’t feel right, don’t do it sunshine.”