So, I’m fat.  Big surprise, that’s kinda what this blog is about.  Nevertheless, I’m working out.  A lot.  Lots and lots of cardio.  That’s how we get unfat.  Get it?

The downside of being fat and doing a lot of cardio is that my everything hurts.  It’s impact after impact, day after day.  Granted, the more weight I lose the better it will get, but in order to lose the weight I get to continue to sweat to the oldies with Richard Simmons on my maniac machine of glory.  So, I go into GNC and ask the muscle-headed bastard at the counter if he “has anything to help with soreness and energy.”

Guy sells me a box for $50 bucks.  The box has little packages 0f pills.  Big pills.  Pills so big Jenna Jamison couldn’t swallow them.  These pills have no markings.  No names.  Some are clear.  Some are brown.  One is red.  I assume the red one is the culprit for causing me to run in circles for two hours screaming “Aaaaahhhhh Motherland!” as my heart rate increased to 290.

I don’t know what any of these pills do, or when I should be taking them, but I know what they don’t do…..cure soreness.  WTF.

Ah well.  There’s always the old ice bath.

Advertisements