nipguardsI’d like to send a shout out to a big, big, big fan of the Fat Guy blog: Muscle Girl (she likes me for my bod!).  In between worshiping my toned physique and laughing hysterically at my gymnasium antics, she also finds time to cure age-old mannundrums such as nipple trauma, discussed at length in my dazzlingly insightful post entitled Day 17: Man Boobs.

Muscle girl pointed out that a product exists that has the power to cure nipple trauma, or more succinctly prevent it from ever occurring in the first place.  I’m grateful for the pointer, but I’m wondering if there is any other way that I can trick Mrs. Fat Guy into rubbing lotion on my nipples.  Ahem.  Anyway, here’s an excerpt from the “Nipguards” website:

NipGuards are a patented product that have revolutionized the market for protection against painful nipple chafing and abrasion.  Used primarily by male athletes (woman typically wear bra’s and do not experience the problem), over 1 million NipGuards have been successfully used since the product was launched in 1999. Each disposable pair of NipGuards is good for one workout – typically a long distance training run or competition (of 45 minutes on the cardio machine of death).

Sounds fascinating, but at $8.95 for a 10 pack, it’s a little rich for my cholesterol-ridden blood.  Nevertheless, if this is yotasslesur bag, you can order at the Nipguards Website.

I was just thinking of another wild innovation that might protect the old milk saucers while simultaneously making a fashion statement:

Nipple tassles.  Stylish.  Reusable.  Color-coordinated for your running attire.  Can somebody say “genius?”