So, day two of working out was almost as eventful as day 1.  I spent 45 minutes on the elliptical trainer on “Cardio Masochist workout # 1.”  The first thing I noticed upon starting my workout was that I felt as if I had been elephant stomped in the ankle during the night.  Apparently when fat people work out, they are sore the next day.  Go figure.  So anyway, I was churning away on the maniac machine when I noticed something weird going on with my right knee.

As I would complete a stride and move my leg back to start another one, my right knee would shake a little.  It reminded me of this pentecostal preacher I used to know who would shake at random in the pulpit for no discernible reason.  I’m just giving you fair warning folks, I’m losing control of my bodily functions as a result of working out.  First the knee.  Who knows what comes next.  You might want to think twice before getting on the machine next to me.

I thought about weighing myself on the way out of the gym, but there were two girls sitting at the desk near the scale.  I couldn’t think of any way to get on the scale without embarrassing myself, so I decided to save that for tomorrow.  I sucked in my gut a little and bowed up my chest as I walked out.  Hopefully that will fool them until I actually get in shape.

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