And by “horse” I mean elliptical trainer. And by “back on” I mean approximately the 397th attempt at losing weight since I first realized that I am…husky. The problem is never day one. The problem is day two, when you wake up from having exercised on day one and feel as if you’ve been attacked by invisible gremlins who are driving nails into your calves while simultaneously punching you in the back. Maybe somebody can relate.
And so, I blog. I’m counting on the fact that I won’t quit so easily if the entire virtual world will think that I’m a chump. A little negative peer pressure never hurt anybody.
Here’s a photo of me on day one (after my workout, no less). I wore a wife beater for your viewing pleasure. The idea is that I will post a photo every thirty days or so, and you should be able to follow the chronicles of the incredible shrinking man. If not, at least you can point and laugh at the fat guy on the little blog. I’ll also try to post my workout routines daily (or as often as I muster the energy to actually go).
Eliptical trainer (cardio routine) 30 mins: This might not sound very difficult, but I almost simultaneously vomited and passed out while on minute number 18. I guess I looked as bad as I felt, because some old guy walked up and was like, “you need some water?” I was like, “no, I need oxygen Homer.”
Bench press 4 sets: I seem to remember being able to bench press about 300 lbs once upon a time. No longer the case. I did manage to scare several old ladies with my loud grunting and breathing patterns. Score one for the big guy.
Tricep extensions, 4 sets
Incline bench press 4 sets
Decline bench press 4 sets
Dips, 3 sets